Wine Puns

We are collecting sayings that have to do with grapes or wine, or even jokes, puns, poems, proverbs, or cartoons.

“Why?” you ask. WHY NOT?!?

Submissions can be clever, funny, profound, of any length, in any language… They can be about wine, grapes or any specific variety, etc. They can be found on the internet or passed down from your great-grandfather, yours or other people’s, but attribute them accurately please! Submit yours by posting a comment below.

Here is a sampling of our favorites so far:

A day without wine could have been better.
– Bill Updike

Nobody has ever come up with a great idea after a second bottle of water.
– Anon from Kelly McAuliffe

It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the wine, or any other reason.
– Latin saying from Tory Macdonald

Wine gets better with age. And I get better with wine.
– Anon from Pia Garcia

Seven days without wine makes one weak.
– Anon from Jeffrey Bergman 

Drink wine, and you will sleep well. Sleep, and you will not sin. Avoid sin, and you will be saved. Ergo, drink wine and be saved.
– Medieval German saying from Tory Macdonald 

What did the grape do when the elephant stepped on it?
…Nothing – it just gave a little whine.
– Anon from Alex Perricone & John Brewer 

When wine, women and song become too much for you, give up singing.
– Anon from Jeffrey Bergman 

Que Syrah Syrah.
– Anon from Julie Hanna Brondino 

Others that we appreciate:

Someone who really ‘nose’ grapes is a ‘winoceros’.
Anon from Tory Macdonald

You should lock up your wine in a Cabernet.
– Anon from Tory Macdonald

Wine is bottled poetry.
– Robert Louis Stevenson from Tory Macdonald

Wine gives a man nothing… it only puts in motion what had been locked up in frost.
Samuel Johnson from Pia Garcia

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
– Benjamin Franklin from Pia Garcia

The vine bears three kinds of grapes: the first of pleasure, the second of intoxication, the third of disgust.
Diogenes from Pia Garcia

A bottle of wine begs to be shared; I have never met a miserly wine lover.
Clifton Paul Fadiman from Pia Garcia

A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
Charles Baudelaire from Pia Garcia

En français:

Un repas sans vin c’est comme une plage sans siens nus.
 Anon from Jeffrey Bergman

Si le vin te gene dans ton travail, supprimes le travail.
– Anon from Tory Macdonald

On disait à un homme orgueilleux: vous avez bu de l’abondance, car vous êtes eau et vin… (Haut et Vain)
Anon from Jacques Mehault

On demande pourquoi les marins font tant de cas du vin de Champagne. C’est pourtant bien clair. Leur raison est que c’est le vin qui produit le plus de mousse.
Anon from Jacques Mehault

Le vin est une des grandes reussites de l’homme pour transformer un fruit perissable en quelque chose de permanent.
Anon from Jacques Mehault

A couple people were inspired to write something original about us:

Every time I drink Chêne Bleu, I have a grape time!
– from Thierry Tomasin

Wine down…
As the fragrant grapes juice
and slowly slide to rest…

in the blue oak.
Chêne Bleu… Exquisite.
– from Citlalli Moreno 

Add yours in the comments section below.


8 thoughts on “Wine Puns

  1. Gillian

    This is a barrel of laughs! I don’t want to crush your feelings and I will try not to be a pagne in the ass, but I am one of the all time grapes, and my puns are just de-vine. It’s bordeauxing ridiculous. Can we declaret me the winner?

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